Finding Good People

people shaped blocks and magnifying glass

Leadership Lessons

from a Life in Private Service

Early in my career, one question changed the way I viewed work, life, and personal growth. My mentor, Mr. Roy Abell, asked me, “Where do geese fly in the winter?” My instinctive answer — “The south?” — was correct, yet his follow-up revealed a much deeper lesson. “And why do they fly south?” he asked. I offered the obvious: “Because it’s warmer?”

“No, my unremarkable friend,” he said. “They fly south because they have to. It’s built into them. Animals do not reason it out — bears slap at fish, possums play dead. It is instinct. Humans, on the other hand, are the only creatures who do not have to fly south. They can go north, east, west, or stay put. Humans alone have the freedom to tear up an old script and write a new one.”

Lessons from a Remarkable Teacher

That conversation left an indelible mark on me. It made me realize, at age 26, that I had far to go and much to learn. The guidance of Mr. and Mrs. Abell became a foundation for everything I pursued in the years ahead. Mr. Abell, a self-made multi-millionaire who had contracted polio in college and lived paralyzed from the neck down, was a man whose insight demanded attention. “A degree will earn you a living,” he told me, “but an education will earn you a fortune.” His words were both practical and philosophical, a challenge to pursue growth beyond the ordinary.

I chose to pursue formal training in private service management, attending a respected academy where I focused on the principles of estate management, household operations, and professional service. By the time I graduated in 1994, certified as a Private Estate Manager, I had already begun to see how the combination of experience and structured education could profoundly enhance a career in private service.

Over the next several years, I managed estates for some of the most prominent leaders in business and industry. These experiences taught me firsthand that while dedication and loyalty are crucial, they are not sufficient on their own. The most effective private service professionals are those who combine instinct with knowledge, skill, and conscious decision-making. Seven years into this work, I returned to my alma mater to oversee training for the next generation of private service professionals, ensuring that my students gained both practical and philosophical insights that would serve them throughout their careers.

Throughout this journey, I have observed a recurring truth: the majority of private service staff enter their roles with minimal formal training, either traditional or specialized to private service. Many rely solely on intuition, observation, or mentorship, often learning on the job as best they can. While this can produce competent employees, it rarely maximizes potential. Structured education — whether in formal academic settings or through specialized private service academies — equips private service professionals (PSPs) with the tools to anticipate needs, solve complex problems, and elevate the households and estates they serve. It enables staff to climb the “domestic ladder,” increasing both their skill set and the value they bring to employers.

Why Choosing Consciousness Matters

My philosophy is simple:

“It is not about what you do, so much as who you are.
The ‘doing’ becomes a natural manifestation of the ‘being.’
If you work harder on yourself than you do on your job, you cannot miss.”

Reflecting on decades of experience, I can identify a critical missing dimension in private service: consciousness. The advent of digital communication, text messaging, and social media has made human interaction both more efficient and more challenging. Skills like emotional intelligence, anticipation of needs, and refined interpersonal communication are rapidly becoming rare. Yet the human spirit still craves validation, recognition, and a sense of being valued — principles that remain central to excellent service.

The lesson from Mr. Abell continues to resonate: unlike animals driven by instinct, humans have the freedom to choose. Staff who pursue education, mentorship, and conscious development actively shape their own careers and influence the culture of the households they serve. By investing in their growth, principals can cultivate teams that are capable, adaptive, and consistently professional. Well-trained staff provide not only seamless service but also insight, foresight, and initiative — qualities that transform the efficiency, comfort, and refinement of any household.

“You Just Can’t Find Good People”

Many principals lament, “You just can’t find good people!” I often respond, “Of course you can’t. Just as you just can’t find good surgeons – they are trained. Good staff must be created: shaped, educated, mentored, and guided.” Creating “good people” is not a matter of luck; it requires leadership, vision, and deliberate cultivation. The goal is Internalized Learning — the ability for staff to embody principles and judgment that go beyond rote task completion.

This philosophy underpins my approach to private service. It is not enough for staff to perform duties competently. They must integrate professional skills with personal development, letting their actions reflect who they are rather than simply what they do.

Why Education Matters

Looking back, the geese analogy remains a powerful metaphor. Staff who act out of instinct alone will always perform a certain level of service. Those who choose to educate themselves, challenge assumptions, and cultivate consciousness rise to a level that is exceptional, transformative, and deeply rewarding. Humans alone have the freedom to change course — to choose growth, to pursue excellence, and to redefine what is possible.

The cumulative impact of these perspectives has been profound. Those who commit to their own development become invaluable assets to their households. They elevate not only operational efficiency but also the culture and reputation of the estate. Families benefit, and careers flourish, creating a cycle of excellence that perpetuates itself over time.

Final Thoughts

After four decades in private service, my work now focuses on sharing these insights with leaders, estates, hotels, and staff around the world. Observing the evolution of service standards, mentoring professionals, and guiding teams toward conscious excellence remains deeply fulfilling. Ultimately, it is about helping people make choices that lead to extraordinary outcomes — for themselves, for their colleagues, and for the families they serve.

The takeaway is clear: Invest in education. Invest in consciousness. Invest in the people around you. Unlike geese, we do not fly because we must. We soar because we choose to. And when we make that choice deliberately, thoughtfully, and with purpose, the results can be extraordinary.

Miller’s Top 5 Leadership Lessons

1. Choice is a Superpower – Unlike animals bound by instinct, humans can choose a new direction at any time. Your future is not fixed — it’s written by the choices you make today.

2. Education is an Accelerator – A degree may earn you a living, but education — formal or self-directed — can transform your future and multiply your opportunities.

3. Work on Yourself First – True excellence in service begins with personal growth. Who you are is more important than what you do.

4. Create, Don’t Just Teach – Leaders don’t just give instructions — they shape and mold others, guiding them from where they are to where they want to be.

5. Seek Consciousness – Awareness is the missing ingredient in much of modern service. Greatness comes from seeing beyond tasks to the larger human experience.

Written by Allan B Miller

Estate Manager, Family Office Director, Private Educator

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A B Miller + Associates is a premier consulting firm dedicated to elevating private service and estate operations worldwide. With a focus on today’s complex residences, family offices, and luxury hospitality environments, the firm helps leaders and staff create systems, cultures, and standards that deliver exceptional results.

Guided by decades of hands-on estate management and leadership experience, AB Miller & Associates specializes in team development, operational efficiency, and the cultivation of what founder Allan Miller calls “conscious excellence” — an approach that blends technical skill, emotional intelligence, and a deep respect for the human side of service.

In an industry where many professionals receive little formal training, the firm is committed to advancing education, mentorship, and best practices, ensuring that staff not only meet but exceed the expectations of the luxury environments they serve. Their goal is to inspire individuals to make intentional choices that lead to extraordinary outcomes — for themselves, their colleagues, and the individuals they serve.

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Nicole Middendorf

CEO of Prosperwell Financial and Wealth Advisor with RJFS

Nicole is a money maven, a knowledge junkie, and a born coach. Nicole became an entrepreneur in 2003 when she launched her wealth management firm. She is the author of five books, the mother of two phenomenal children, a world traveler, a philanthropist, and an accomplished public speaker.

Nicole shares financial advice and real-life perspective on saving, planning, and investing with audiences across the country. Her primary goal is to take complicated subjects and make them easy to understand. She works hard to empower people to make crucial, positive changes in their own lives.

Picture of Nicole Middendorf

Nicole Middendorf

CEO of Prosperwell Financial and Wealth Advisor with RJFS

Nicole is a money maven, a knowledge junkie, and a born coach. Nicole became an entrepreneur in 2003 when she launched her wealth management firm. She is the author of five books, the mother of two phenomenal children, a world traveler, a philanthropist, and an accomplished public speaker.

Nicole shares financial advice and real-life perspective on saving, planning, and investing with audiences across the country. Her primary goal is to take complicated subjects and make them easy to understand. She works hard to empower people to make crucial, positive changes in their own lives.

Prosperwell Financial provides personalized wealth management advice to effectively guide you through every stage of life. Our advisors help to plan your way toward true financial happiness, including financial retirement planning, college education savings, estate planning, asset management, insurance, and financial divorce planning. Founded by Wealth Advisor and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst Nicole Middendorf, Prosperwell Financial serves individuals and executives all across the U.S. We help you gain the confidence needed to be in control of your financial happiness.

The Wealth Advisors at Prosperwell Financial take the time to learn about you. We want to know your goals, dreams, and desires. As a mentor and coach, we guide you through the process of discovering your financial options and possibilities. Whether that means planning for retirement, converting an IRA, working with a 401k, or wealth management services, Prosperwell Financial will have you covered.