Tips to Employing Private Staff
Where to start
(Despite a principal’s best intentions, many find themselves in unchartered territory when it comes to staffing their home. It’s no surprise, as there are no high school or college courses on managing one’s personal life, making it difficult to assess what one needs to make that happen.
Private Service Professionals (PSPs) often wear many “hats” while working in a private home and are quite happy to do so. However, the more roles that are piled on their plate directly affect how thoroughly they are able to fulfill the duties assigned to each role. In addition, there are many personalities amongst staff. For instance, chefs tend to have a strong ego, nannies are outgoing, and housekeepers are often introverted. All these personalities work well in their respective roles. However, when a principal hires one person to be the nanny, chef, and housekeeper, they will never have the best service possible. In addition, multiple roles lead to burnout and high rates of turnover. Equally, hiring one person to manage the work of three is a recipe for disaster. There is a reason that the federal government says 40 hours equals a full-time job. If a candidate is desperate and relatively inexperienced, they will jump at the first offer – even if the advertzment is filled with red flags:
WEALTHY FAMILY SEEKS UNICORN WITH A MAGIC WAND
Nanny/Housekeeper/Driver/Chef Needed: 70+ hours, 6 days per week, live-in (our basement, next to the furnace room, without windows), Sundays off (but only when the family is away). Must be flexible, have a master’s degree in child psychology, use your own car (we are too cheap to provide one), and love exotic animals (that will bite your arm off), with a minimum of 15 years of experience. Pay is ridiculously low (good luck paying off those college loans).
Professional Boundaries
Private Service Professionals (PSPs) should be treated like the true professionals they are. They should be able to expect a regular schedule with reasonable hours, time off, and standard benefits found in any corporate job.
With their “service heart,” PSPs are wired to put others first and will bend over backward to make the lives of their principal(s) extraordinary. Because of their nature to serve, principals need to be aware of the demands placed on staff and provide proper compensation. That starts with hiring the right people for the right amount and type of work. No one wants to spend more money than necessary in any transaction; however, the adage is true – you get what you pay for. How can a principal figure out what they need and how to navigate these issues? Historically, they would contract a Domestic Staffing Agency for a list of superb candidates or a Staffing Consultant to audit their home and lifestyle before beginning a search for candidates.
Employee vs. Contractor
When principals hire staff to work in their homes, it’s vital to identify whether the person is an employee or a contractor. The federal government considers household staff members employees, not independent contractors. This holds true for any staff members, whether they work full-time, part-time, live-in, or live-out.
The IRS makes this determination based on one primary principle: control.
- If the employer has control over the person’s schedule and how they perform their duties, the IRS considers this person an employee. Employers must withhold income taxes, withhold and pay Social Security and Medicare taxes, pay unemployment insurance/taxes on wages paid to employees, and provide a W-2 statement each January.
- If a worker owns their own business or is self-employed, controls their schedule and how the work is done, is insured, and pays their own taxes, they are not an employee.
- If an agency is contracted to provide staff, and the staff are paid through the agency, the worker is an employee of the agency, and not an employee of the household.
Recruiting Options – Pros and Cons
Principals looking to hire private staff (Private Service Professionals or PSPs) have historically turned to specialists in the private service industry called Domestic Staffing Agencies. In recent years, principals have handed over the search for private staff to a favorite recruiting firm, searched on their own, and business owners have asked their HR department to handle the search.
The entire Private Service industry revolves around healthy and respected relationships. Placing the right candidate in the right role is like a marriage made in heaven – everyone wins. Bad outcomes are rarely the fault of the candidate not meeting the expectations of the family or the family treating staff horribly. Bad placements are generally in the hands of the ones who made the match, although there is always a chance that a Principal or their staff were not clear on their expectations or the staff burned out faster than a Webber grill. The ideal placement scenario for both the principal and prospective employee requires the engagement of Domestic Staffing Agencies, and here is why.
Domestic Staffing Agencies are akin to matchmakers, who are specialists under the recruitment umbrella who know the ins and outs of the private service industry. The BEST placement agents have had first-hand experience working as a member of staff in an estate. Reputable agencies have the best interest of BOTH parties at heart when recommending a job to a candidate and a candidate to a principal. These experts listen to the principal, educate them on best practices, advise on titles and experience needed to successfully fill the role, define the time required to perform the allotted tasks, and negotiate the employment contract. Agents may coach the candidates on resume and interview techniques, are supposed to run background and reference checks, try to listen to the candidate’s needs and aspirations, educate them on best practices, and lend a shoulder to cry on if they don’t get the job. Once a candidate is placed, the best agents continue to coach both principals and staff, preventing molehills from becoming mountains and assisting in annual contract negotiations.
For their services, agencies earn a healthy fee. Fees depend on the position being filled, local market rates and availability, and search efforts. Top agencies require retained or exclusive search agreements, and will search the corners of the earth for the perfect candidates. They often receive requests so specific that only a unicorn could fit the bill!
Mediocre agencies are order takers, not matchmakers. They employ commitment-free search business models, use computerized filters to sort their databases, and reject any candidate that doesn’t have the requisite number of keywords on their resume. The problem here lies in ignoring the industry’s foundation of building relationships. Candidates are required to sign Non-Disclosure Agreements for everything – making it difficult, if not impossible, to be specific with anyone but an agent.
Recruiting Agencies are generalists. They excel at finding people and filling job openings at any level in any industry. However, they have not dedicated their career to the sub-specialty of the private service industry. They have not worked as a PSP, developed personal relationships with the staff they place, nor do they follow up after the placement. Recruiters comb through sites like Indeed or LinkedIn, searching for keywords, hoping to find that rare gem. But not knowing the subtle differences between the experience and training of a household manager, a housekeeper, estate manager, or director of residence just leads to mountains of resumes to review and poor placement success rates.
Self-Directed Searches are when a principal searches independently for a new member of staff for their home. They are acting as both staffing agent and prospective employer. Moneywise, leaving out the middleman is less expensive in the short term, the risk of a poor placement is much higher, as there is often a significant learning curve, and it can take an extraordinary amount of time to vet each applicant. It is quite difficult to define a job description and attract suitable candidates. For many reasons, candidates are and should be hesitant to take jobs where a third party isn’t involved.
One of the biggest stumbling blocks are industry standard NDAs with former employers. A candidate can’t tell you who they worked for or how to contact them – but there should be a clause in the NDA that allows them to provide employment details with staffing agents (along with their accountant, lawyer, and spouse). Even reference letters are often redacted to protect the candidate from being accused of breach of contract. The only tool recommended by Private Service Alliance for a self-directed search is EstateJobs.com, which has become the industry’s go-to public tool where principals can post ads that directly reach industry professionals. And we recommend the PSA Reference Vault for staff to share their verified career history in one safe place. Sadly, other sites like Zip Recruiter, LinkedIn, Monster, and Indeed are very complicated to navigate when searching for private service roles. Estate Managers end up with recommendations for real estate, property management, estate planning, or hospitality roles rather than those in private homes.
HR Departments: The search and long-term placement success rate is not improved when an employer hands off the search for private staff to their company’s HR department, for many of the same reasons a self-search is less than ideal. Human Resource staff are loyal to their employer and search on their behalf. Although technically a “third party” is involved, the HR member’s loyalty is to their employer – not acting as an independent agent that seeks a win-win for both the principal and candidate. In addition, personal information regarding the lifestyle, assets, and preferences of the principal’s household becomes known within the company. Things can become very awkward down the line for everyone when a household staff member needs to be reprimanded by HR for failing to iron the boss’s underwear or restock birth control.
LEVELS OF SERVICE
Transitional Roles are just that, a chance for staff to get their feet wet and assess their future interest in that role and the industry. They serve as bridges for individuals aspiring to enter the industry despite lacking explicit experience, tenure, and references. These roles offer a platform for individuals to showcase their transferable skills, adaptability, and eagerness to learn within the unique context of private residences. While individuals in transitional roles initially face a learning curve as they familiarize themselves with the intricacies of private service, they bring fresh perspectives, innovative ideas, and a willingness to grow, enriching the dynamics of the household. Through dedication, continuous learning, and a proactive approach to skill development, candidates in transitional roles can carve out pathways toward fulfilling careers within the private service industry. While these roles may not require the same prerequisites and do not pay industry-standard wages as those sought via Domestic Placement Agencies, they provide invaluable hands-on experience and a platform for skill development, along with those golden tickets – the letters of reference.
Entry-Level Roles in private service, encompassing roles such as nanny, housekeeper, cook, and assistant, are fundamental pillars within the domain of domestic service. These positions typically entail hands-on responsibilities centered around a private residence’s day-to-day operations and maintenance. Nannies provide personalized care and support for children, ensuring their well-being and development in a nurturing environment. Housekeepers oversee the cleanliness and organization of the household, executing meticulous cleaning routines and managing household inventories. Cooks harness their culinary prowess to prepare nutritious and delicious meals tailored to the preferences of the household members. Assistants act as indispensable aides, adeptly managing administrative tasks, scheduling appointments, and facilitating seamless communication within the household.
Career-Level Roles are held by people who have decided to plant their flag and are committed to establishing themselves within a specific role, demonstrating proficiency and dedication in their chosen field. Examples of such titles may include Butler, Head Nanny, Head Housekeeper, or Executive Assistant. These professionals have honed their skills through years of experience and training programs and seek out opportunities that align with their expertise and preferences. While their duties remain somewhat detailed and repetitive, such individuals often enjoy some degree of authority and autonomy within their roles, allowing them to implement their own methods and strategies to accomplish tasks efficiently and effectively.
Professional-Level Roles represent the pinnacle of achievement within the private service industry, held by individuals who are not just committed but dedicated to continuous education and skill development. These professionals prioritize ongoing learning and advancement, pursuing various forms of education ranging from traditional university degrees to specialized certificates from trade schools, tech programs, or online courses. Titles associated with professional-level roles may include Private Chef, Estate Manager, Newborn Care Specialist, or Chief of Staff. In their pursuit of excellence, professionals at this level transition to increasingly demanding roles, incorporating sophisticated strategies, meticulous planning, and innovative solutions into their daily duties. Their responsibilities are very detailed and seldom repetitive, requiring them to exercise a high degree of authority and autonomy as they oversee complex projects, manage teams, and make strategic decisions to optimize household operations.
The Elephant in the Living Room
The Dark Side of Commitment-Free Contingency Recruiting
Imagine for a moment that a client asks a skilled architect to present three house designs. The architect spends countless hours perfecting each design, tailoring them to the client’s needs and preferences. The architect then hopes the client will select one of their designs and compensate them for their time and expertise. Is that a reasonable request?
Now, imagine a Private Chef, Housekeeper, or Estate Manager being asked to dedicate multiple hours to cooking, cleaning, or managing an estate, only to be paid if the client deems their work acceptable. It’s hard to imagine many professionals agreeing to work under such high financial uncertainty.
Similarly, domestic agencies working on a commitment-free contingency basis are expected to invest significant time and resources into finding the perfect candidate, with no guarantee of payment. This unrealistic expectation doesn’t align with the high-touch service prominent clients expect in other areas of their lives. The contingency business model breeds rushed recruiting and leaves agencies uncertain if their hard work will pay off. Considering that level of uncertainty, how can agencies justify spending significant time on every high-risk search they’re working on?
Over my 16+ years of recruiting estate professionals, I’ve gained a deep understanding of the industry’s challenges, especially the flaws inherent in the contingency recruiting model. This model, which compensates recruiters only if a candidate is placed, is at the root of much of the frustration we see from job seekers and clients.
I see job seekers on LinkedIn literally every day talking about their frustrations with the recruiting process. I’ve wanted to share this post for a long time now because the reason for their poor experiences is glaringly apparent.
It’s time to address the elephant in the room, discuss the impact of this model, and consider how a shift toward a retained or exclusive search approach can drastically improve everyone’s outcomes.
The Challenges with Contingency Recruiting
Commitment-free contingency recruiting only works at high volume, where the recruiter juggles multiple searches simultaneously. Unfortunately, the reality is that most roles aren’t filled. Agencies and recruiters typically close only 20-40% of the positions they work on. Here’s why:
- Clients often list the same role with multiple agencies.
- Searches get put on hold or canceled.
- The client isn’t serious about filling the role.
- The client hires someone within their own network.
- Clients disappear (it’s not just job seekers who are ghosted).
- Candidates sometimes turn down employment offers.
- Some clients seek absolute perfection.
- The list goes on…
Impact on Clients
Contingency recruiting might work well in high-volume, transactional sectors, but it’s a deplorable fit for staffing private homes, where families expect a personalized, high-touch process. When recruiting is done on a commitment-free contingency basis, the focus shifts to filling the role quickly rather than finding the ideal match. This subpar model should be a client’s last resort, not their preferred option. The stakes are too high.
When clients work with multiple agencies or recruiters for the same job, it often leads to a “race to the bottom” for the quickest candidate submission. This “throwing spaghetti at the ceiling” approach rarely results in quality placements. It’s a roll of the dice, and agencies know they can’t afford to spend the necessary time on each search when the odds of successfully filling the position are slim. It’s a “spray and pray” method that usually yields mediocre results for everyone involved.
Clients, ask yourselves: do you want the cheapest option, or would you prefer a more committed approach that provides you with access to the best private service professionals?
The Toll on Candidates
Agencies usually work with a large pool of candidates, which means not every qualified candidate gets a chance to pursue the roles they’re interested in. This can leave candidates wondering if their recruiter truly values them. The contingency model forces recruiters to take fewer risks; there is no time for anything else. Their best chance of success is to present candidates who are a perfect fit on paper—leaving exceptional but less obvious fits on the sidelines.
Candidates: when you are in the running for a role, ask your recruiter if they have a committed relationship with that client. I think the answer you receive might give you a good indication of how much time and effort the recruiter is dedicating to your candidacy and how much of your time you should spend pursuing the opportunity.
Why Ghosting Happens
Ghosting has become one of the biggest complaints from job seekers. Unfortunately, it’s a typical result of recruiters being spread too thin. With hundreds of emails, texts, and calls each week and a never-ending queue of roles to fill, not every candidate can receive personalized attention and feedback. This doesn’t excuse poor communication, but it directly results from the broken contingency system. “Don’t hate the player; hate the game.”
The Need for Change
The commitment-free contingency model is a poor fit for the high-touch service that prominent clients and private service professionals expect. It simply does not provide the attention and quality needed to make meaningful connections between clients and candidates.
The Solution: Retained or Exclusive Search
For years, I’ve dreamed about reinventing the wheel and creating a new recruitment model that consistently delivers excellent results to all parties. Sadly, I haven’t been able to make that dream come true, but a better path forward is obvious: retained or exclusive search.
Retained search involves clients paying a fee upfront, with additional payments due at specific milestones during the search process.
With an exclusive search, the client agrees to work exclusively with one agency for the duration of the search.
These committed partnership models allow recruiters to dedicate the necessary time to sourcing and vetting the best candidates. With fewer roles to manage, recruiters can focus on providing high-touch service and finding the right match. This is a win-win situation for both clients and candidates.
Clients who use retained or exclusive search models receive undivided attention and top priority from their recruiter. Retained search placements also typically come with extended placement guarantees (one year, in our case), giving recruiters an added incentive to go above and beyond to ensure a successful match.
If you’re a hiring manager, consider agencies or recruiters that offer a retained search model. It will make your job search stand out in a highly competitive market. If paying a retainer feels too risky for your client, try working exclusively with one recruiter for a set period of time. This will create more focus and reduce the considerable mess that comes with using multiple agencies for the same search.
A Positive Shift for 2025!
At DM Estate Staffing, we’ve spent the past year focusing on clients who have retained our services or committed to working exclusively with us. This shift has been a game-changer, and it’s the key to providing the premium service our clients and candidates deserve. It’s really been a breath of fresh air for us!
Let’s make 2025 the year we embrace progress. If you’re a client, consider working with agencies that offer a retained or exclusive search model to ensure high-quality results. Together, we can improve the experience for candidates, clients, and recruiters alike. Here’s to a year of growth, success, and meaningful change ahead!
Daniel Wood serves as an Agency Director to Private Service Alliance’s Advisory Board of Directors and is Founder and Director of DM Estate Staffing.
Daniel has been a leader in the hospitality industry for over 25 years, including 12 years in private luxury services as an Estate Manager, Private Chef, and Yacht Chef. He has extensive experience in all sides of the hiring triangle: as a candidate, a hiring manager, and a third-party recruiter. This understanding of all facets of the private service market allows Daniel to make such effective matches when pairing the right candidate with the right environment.
This article was first published on LinkedIn, January 6, 2025.
