Male Caregivers:
Breaking Stereotypes and Building Bridges
When discussing male caregivers, it’s hard to ignore the elephant in the room: gender stereotyping. Even well-meaning individuals who consider themselves open-minded often default to certain assumptions about male nannies and perpetuate unfair and limiting stereotypes.
The truth is simple: the role of a caregiver has nothing to do with gender and everything to do with skill, passion, and a love for children. Although male nannies, often called “mannies,” have been increasing in the domestic childcare field, they still make up only 1% of child caregivers in the United States and 2% in the United Kingdom.
Families that have embraced male nannies have discovered the significant but often unspoken value of incorporating the male child caregiver’s perspective and abilities into a child’s life and what that means.
Are They Called Male Nanny or Manny?
They are nannies.
This whole Mannies idea harkens back to calling a medical professional a male nurse, as if that is surprising. And while I expect you will find these caregivers are not a monolith and will have their own personal preferences, I have never met one that truly prefers the title of manny.
The Importance of Male Role Models
Research highlights the significance male role models play in children’s lives and development while children begin to understand the world around them. Studies by Robert Bullough and Sheelagh Drudy highlight the significant underrepresentation of men in caregiving roles, noting that men make up just 3% of early childhood educators and caregivers globally.
This lack of male representation limits what a child perceives as masculinity, often leaving this development to rely solely on skewed portrayals in TV shows, movies, and video games. By hiring a male nanny, families unlock a world for their children with a broad and inclusive understanding of gender roles and demonstrate that caregiving is not confined to women.
Luckily, today’s parents are increasingly attuned to the value of diversity, including diversity in caregiving, and why exposing children to a variety of perspectives and experiences helps shape them into empathetic, open-minded individuals we need in the world.
The Growing Demand for Male Caregivers
For many families, hiring a male nanny has been a transformative experience. A Chicago mother once told me, “I think it’s fantastic for my son and daughters to see a man cooking, cleaning, and supporting their emotional needs.” This sentiment is echoed by countless parents who appreciate the balanced perspective male nannies bring into their homes.
The rise of male nannies isn’t just anecdotal; it’s a growing trend that has garnered media attention. CNN’s “Rise of the Manny,” the Daily Mail’s “Kids, Meet Gary Poppins,” and Good Morning America’s “Mannies on the Rise” all highlight the increasing demand for male caregivers.
As outlined in Nanny ABCs: The Sitter’s Handbook: “Male nannies offer the same quality of care as female nannies, but they can also be a positive male role model for families that may be in need of one.”
Male nannies are especially valued in households with single mothers, two-mother families, or homes where fathers work long hours or travel frequently. In these situations, a positive male role model can shape children’s understanding of what men can be: nurturing, supportive, and fully engaged in caregiving.
Breaking Down Stereotypes
It’s time to confront one of the most pervasive stereotypes: “Sports + Male Nanny = Stereotype.”
Are Men Better at Sports?
Personally, I’m terrible at sports. But that has never stopped me or any nanny, male or female, from kicking around a soccer ball, playing basketball, or joining in on an impromptu game of tag. Playfulness, adaptability, and enthusiasm are qualities every nanny should possess, regardless of their skill level in a particular activity.
Do Boys Prefer a Male Caregiver?
The assumption that boys prefer male caregivers because they are “manly” misses the point entirely. From my experience, boys value having a male nanny because it’s a rare and meaningful opportunity to bond with someone who can relate to their experience. Male nannies provide a perspective that many children may not have experienced before, particularly if their sitters or caregivers have traditionally been female.
Why would families hire male nannies?
Families often hire men because they want their children to have the chance to bond with a male caregiver. These parents understand the importance of exposing their children to different perspectives and actively seek out opportunities to provide a well-rounded caregiving experience.
My Journey as a Male Nanny
What makes me uniquely qualified to discuss mannies? Because I’ve been caring for children as a professional nanny for over 20 years, training caregivers, coaching parents, and authoring Nanny ABCs: The Sitter’s Handbook. But above all, I’m extremely passionate about the work I do.
I don’t identify as a “manny.” I’m a nanny.
Early in my career, I encountered skepticism and outright rejection because of my gender. I’ll never forget one mother telling me after our interview, “You’re wonderful, but you’re a man, and I’m not sure how I feel about that.” While discouraging, these experiences reinforced my determination to show that caregiving is about qualifications and connection, not gender.
Over the years, I’ve worked with children of all ages and families of all compositions. I’ve organized birthday parties, traveled with families domestically and internationally, cooked meals, crafted art projects, and attended soccer games, dance practices, and recitals of all kinds. My gender may occasionally influence how people perceive me, but it has never limited my ability to provide exceptional care.
Why Mannies Matter
Male Caregivers play a unique and important role in modern caregiving. They do not replace female caregivers; instead, they complement them, offering families an alternative perspective and enriching the caregiving experience.
Male caregivers are particularly beneficial in homes where sisters or female relatives may outnumber boys. A positive male role model can help balance gender dynamics and demonstrate that men can be nurturing and supportive. Likewise, girls benefit from seeing men take on caregiving roles, which broadens their understanding of what men can be and helps challenge societal norms.
The Call for Equality in Childcare
I didn’t write this to advocate exclusively for male caregivers. I wrote it to advocate for nannies as a whole. The title of “nanny” represents a commitment to the well-being of children, regardless of gender.
At the end of the day, caregiving isn’t about stereotypes or societal expectations. It’s about building trust, forming connections, and making a genuine positive impact on the lives of children and families. Regardless of your pronouns, what matters most is your dedication to the job.
So, the next time you’re considering a caregiver for your family, ask yourself: Could a male nanny be the right fit? You might be surprised by the answer.
President, United Nanny Agency
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